


The Binding Of Souls

by BBirdy



Series: Soul Bound [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Angst, But the comfort also hurts, Comfort, Consent Issues, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Whump, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Kwami & Miraculous Lore, Longing, Mpreg, Platonic Cuddling, Secret Identity, Soulmates, Supportive Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), Unhelpful but Supportive Tikki, Unrequited Love, duties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24491605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBirdy/pseuds/BBirdy
Summary: "Ever since I first met you I've never wanted to be away from you. And now it, it hurts," the last word was a physical weight over the top of him."Oh, Kitty."He tried to get further away, feeling an almost physical tug between them. Knees shaking he dropped the Parisian rooftop, arms squeezed over his stomach.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Soul Bound [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769287
Comments: 27
Kudos: 110





	The Binding Of Souls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thescuttlebugg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescuttlebugg/gifts).



> Over a year ago I promised thescuttlebug a story very heavily inspired by their own incredible story "you deserve to be loved and you deserve what you are given" 
> 
> Please read it as this nonsense pales in comparison. 
> 
> And to thescuttlebug I am so sorry this took so long!

"Kitty?" Ladybug bent over to face him, smiling serenely. "Are you awake?" 

He nodded once, his usually bright gaze cast across the roofs of Paris. Curled up on the edge of the scaffolding he dropped his chin on his knees. 

"Why so mopey?" She prodded, a hand misting across his face, trying to make him blink. There was an odd heat to him. 

Skittering away from the touch he bristled, sitting further from her. 

"Chat Noir?" Ladybug paused, concern stopping her short. "Come on. You've been acting weird all night." She didn't just mean the quiet, though that too was odd. There was something  _ off _ about him.

"Stop pretending you care," he snapped. 

What had brought on this?

"Chat, if this is about me rejecting that movie date then there's no-"

"It's got nothing to do with that."

Frustration welled. "Then what is it?"

He glanced over his tightly crossed arms. "You really don't..." he dropped his face in his hands. "Of course not."

"What-"

"Ask your kwami." His throat pulled tight, voice muffled by his hands. "I can't... I don't know how to explain."

"Right now?" Ladybug teetered on the edge of the roof. She didn't want to leave him, not even because of his sorrow. There was a hook around her navel. There was something deeper, demanding she stay near.

"I can wait." 

Backing further she considered him a moment. He had his tricks but he'd never try and trick her to discover who she was and he just looked so small, so uncharacteristically miserable. Her kitty wasn't like this.

She dashed from eyes view, hiding behind a large chimney. 

"Spots off," she whispered. Blinking away the last of the pink lights she focused on the tiny red figure. "Tikki? What's this about?"

She covered her tiny mouth with her hands, eyes welling with tears. 

"Tikki?" Marinette fought the urge to cuddle the tiny creature. 

"I should have known," Tikki whispered. "I haven't been paying attention at all and I should have known. Marinette I'm so sorry!"

"But," Marinette blinked. "What's going on?"

"Hold on!" Tikki sped away, leaving her alone. 

"Tikki?" Marinette yelped. Peering cautiously around the chimney she watched the floating figure land atop Chat's arm. 

Faintly she could hear the soft apologies.

Chat Noir lifted his head. "You're Ladybug's kwami, right? Tikki?"

"I am," she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "Though I wish our reunion had been under better circumstances."

Lips pressed tight Chat Noir swallowed the lump in his throat. 

It was hard to say who was more sorrowful.

"Oh, Adrien," she spoke ever softer. "I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could do."

He hardly noted the use of his name, his real name. "What am I supposed to _do_?" 

"You won't be alone."

"Plagg isn't enough," emotions welled and he was left struggling with his tears. 

Tikki hugged his shoulder. "I'll explain to Ladybug. We're going to work it out, find a way to help you. Instinct will draw her closer to _you_ , just like you're drawn to _her_."

He squeezed himself tighter. "That's the problem. It won't be real for her. And even if we... then I'll be carrying. She doesn't even like me, let alone-" he stopped his stumbling words, biting his tongue.

"Oh Kitty," Tikki sounded uncannily like Ladybug. "It's going to be all right. I promise."

"You can't promise that."

"Watch me." She pressed another gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. "I'm going to go fill her in. You just hold on. Okay?"

He nodded once.

Tikki lifted herself and flew back, seating herself on the tile roof. "Sit," she patted the ground, waiting patiently. 

"What," Marinette dropped, "is going on?" She crossed her arms firmly. 

Tikki took a steady breath and began what sounded like a well-memorized speech. "Each kwami serves a great purpose to the world. In the case of Ladybug and Chat Noir, or more specifically Plagg and I, have a great responsibility. My responsibility is to be the keeper, the creator of good luck, and in turn, of happiness and life. Plagg on the other hand represents all the opposite. He is the holder of bad luck, of darkness and destruction. This destruction has the unfortunate side effect of ending life. Despite this, he still works for the good of the world."

"But," Marinette interrupted. "What does this have to do with Chat Noir?"

"Hold your horses Marinette. I'm getting there." Tikki held up her hands. "To outweigh the destructive power Plagg holds every few decades he must bring forth... life."

"What?" Marinette felt her jaw drop. "Really?"

Tikki nodded once. "When we were younger it was far easier. He would bring forth another miraculous, another kwami."

"So the other kwamis are-"

"Our children, in a sense."

Marinette paused her again. "What do you mean  _ our _ ?"

"The power of destruction must bring forth the life but is unable to create it. So I, that is to say we..." she shook her head. "But it's not that simple this time."

Nerves rose steadily. "How is it not?" Marinette asked. 

"When Plagg is bonded, when his miraculous is being held, he can't do it. The responsibility to bring forth life falls to you two," Tikki watched Marinette steadily. "It falls to the current Chat Noir and Ladybug to bring forth a  _ human _ life."

"Bring forth a-" Marinette crossed her arms over her stomach, eyes as wide as dinner plates. "You mean a baby?"

"Not you Marinette," Tikki placed a hand on hers. "Chat Noir."

Marinette found herself protesting again. "You mean he's going to be-" she swirled a finger around her navel, waiting for the nod. "But he's a boy! He's shaped like a boy. He's too small to carry- wait," another thought was growing far more alarming. "You said it falls to both of us. Do we, will we have to have sex?" She asked with a squeak. She'd never done it before and the idea of her first time being with a man whose face she couldn't see...

"It isn't like that at all," Tikki sounded, if possible, even more heart broken. "Though you could if you wanted it has nothing to do with human intimacy. This is way kwamis stay close."

"Which is?"

Tikki couldn't help but smile at her apprehension. "We call it soul sharing. Every molecule of your bodies will want to be close, it will hurt to be apart."

"So," Marinette tried to think. "So we just have to hang out for a while?"

Looking her dead in the eyes Tikki scowled. "You aren't taking this seriously."

"It's a little hard to wrap my mind around," Marinette defended weakly. "First you say Chat Noir is going to be pregnant, and with  _ my _ baby no less."

"Well, you will have to wrap your mind around it," Tikki crossed her arms. "Because you will have to make a nest or bed for him, spend the night beside him, be present for him." Tikki spun in the air a little. "I should have been telling you about this for a while. I should have remembered this was going to happen soon. But with Hawkmoth..." Tikki steadied herself. "There would have been no time for Plagg to loosen the bond enough to do this himself. And we need Ladybug and Chat Noir to protect the city. So you need to be strong and get ready for this."

Lost and confused Marinette twisted her fingers, feeling the nerves rising in her chest. "This is so weird," she mumbled. "It's so hard to process."

"How do you think he feels?" Tikki asked softly.

Marinette felt the blood drain from her face. "How long have we been talking? How long has he known? Is he okay?"

"We've been talking for only a few minutes," Tikki bobbed, masking her own emotions. "As for how long he's known I can't say. He's probably been feeling the need to soul bond with you for days."

Emotion swirled in Marinette's chest, clogging her voice. "Oh, my _kitty_ ," she whispered. 

Tikki felt the knot inside loosening. There was a chance, a strong chance that her miraculous holder would really understand. This wouldn't be like last time.

Summoned back to the miraculous Ladybug straightened. Hands curled into fists she rounded the chimney. Knowing it was there now she could feel the pull, back to the hunched figure at the edge of the building. 

"Kitty?" Her voice sounded different in her head deeper, more soothing. 

He didn't move, only curling himself tighter, arms clutched over his chest. 

She knelt at the edge of the railing, a few inches from him, needing to be closer. "My, my kwami told me what's going to... what we need to do."

He nodded once, face unreadable. 

"Talk to me kitty."

"What am I supposed to _say_?" He asked. His voice was so much harsher than she'd ever heard it. He teetered on the edge of anger, terror pulling only ever harder at the other side. "What exactly do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I know what I'm doing or I know what's going to happen? Because I don't. I don't know what to do... or to say," he bit his lip, struggling back real tears.

"I don't know either," Ladybug inched closer. "But I do know you aren't going to be alone. I wouldn't leave you or your... our," she couldn't bring herself to say the word. She could hardly imagine Chat carrying let alone a real, physical child to hold. She was hardly sixteen and he couldn't be much more. "You won't be alone," she said more firmly. "I'm going to be there to help, any and every step of the way."

Chat Noir finally turned to look at her. Every muscle was so tight he seemed ready to snap. His eyes were glassy with tears he refused to shed. "I," he swallowed hard. 

"Kitty?" Ladybug's hand brushed his arm. There was a tangible warmth even through her glove.

He tried to pull away from the touch, but couldn't bring himself to. There was a cat-like hiss at the back of his throat.

"Come on," she tried to keep her commanding facade. "We need to make that nest my kwami told me about."

He was shaking his head, forcing himself away from her touch. "No. No, I don't want to."

"What?"

"I don't want to," he pushed himself to his feet, pacing himself back and forth. "I don't want to do this soul sharing thing." He stopped dead in his tracks, arms crossed again. His breath hitched in his chest. "I can't share myself with you. I can't carry our," he stopped, unable to bring himself to bring the words either. "I can't do it, not when I know you don't care about me, not knowing you don't want them." 

"I," Ladybug was too keenly aware of his stance. A hook around her heart was pulling her to him. What was going on? "Chat, I'm not going to pretend this wasn't a shock but I _do_ care about you."

His twitching turned more persistent, his face a sheen of silver sweat in the moonlight. "It's not the same!" He dropped his head, his whole body trembling. 

"Kitty..."

"It's not the same." He wouldn't turn to face her, speaking with a tangible pain. "I'm going to have a, our, our baby. Because my kwami can't separate himself long... because Paris needs a Chat Noir. So I'm stuck with another responsibility. I have to carry out what he was supposed to- I'm having a baby."

Ladybug knew the emotion was starting to overwhelm him. She was _acutely_ aware of him, of his damaged emotions. She could read it as if it were written across his tightly wound spine. 

"Kitty?"

He turned to stone. Her words shivered across him like ice water. 

"Maybe," she moved closer, she wanted, she needed to soothe his cold. "Maybe we just don't think about the baby part for now. You're obviously upset about the soul sharing-"

"I'm not upset!" He whirled around, the scream tearing his throat. His cheeks were stained with tears. The water rolled off his mask. "I, I'm not."

"Okay," Ladybug reached her hand out, fingers cradling his slim wrist. The same fire erupted along her skin, leaving behind a trail of warmth, burning bone-deep. "But, if you _were_ , what is it that would upset you?"

"I can't," he obeyed the words like an order, her question breaking any and every defense he could throw up. "I can't share my soul with someone who doesn't trust me."

"Of course I-"

"You don't know my name."

Ladybug brushed her thumb across his honeycomb armor, aching to be closer, hating the centimeter of fabric between them. "You know we can't."

"Why not?" His words were a toddler's pout. "Why can't I share myself, my name, or even my favorite color with you? And they expect, they need me to share my soul with you?" He was seconds away from breaking. "I won't do it."

Ladybug had to think, had to separate the odd new emotions from logic. "And what's the alternative? To stay away from each other until we physically can't?"

"I already can't stay away from you," his words were almost too light to hear. "I never want to be away from you, _never_."

His whisper sent a shiver up her spine. What was going on?

Getting herself back under control Ladybug swallowed hard. "Kitty?"

"Ever since I first met you I've never wanted to be away from you. And now it, it  _ hurts _ ," the last word was a physical weight over the top of him. 

He just looked so small, only a child, with so much being asked of him. How could she ask him to do this?

"Oh, Kitty."

He tried to get further away, feeling an almost physical tug between them. Knees shaking he dropped the Parisian rooftop, arms clasped around himself. "How can they expect this of us?" He echoed her thoughts. "We're just kids. I can't have a baby. I can't be… I'm not like you. I can't think of this like you can. I can't separate the emotion from the mission."

"The mission?"

His arms pulled tighter around his middle. "I can't have a baby, not any baby, let alone yours." His throat was closing off. Chat Noir was starting to shake, a full-body trembling. 

He had a point, Ladybug mused. She was good at separating her emotions from what needed to be done. Then why did everything feel so tangled now? And yet, there was still just the two of them. There was still just her... her and her partner, a partner who was just so utterly vulnerable. 

"Are you cold?" she asked, feet driving her forward without volition. 

"You know I'm not," he curled tighter, nails dug into his arms. 

Figer brushing his cheek she could feel the fire igniting underneath. Once again, he was right. 

"Kitty. You're not well. Please, let me help."

"I don't want it," his sob wasn't that of a child's, a cranky toddler. This was the cry of a man, the adult pain that could never be fully described. This wasn't heartbreak. It stretched so much further than that. "I don't want the help I know I'll need." His spine locked, curling him to a ball. Never had he wanted so much to be held. 

"I can't watch you be in pain," Ladybug could feel the lump in her own throat building. "Please, let me help you."

He shook his head, burying it under his arms. He was starting to rock, unable to stop the sobs welling in him. Pain. Everything was aflame. He needed… he just  _ needed _ . Everything was muddling in his brain. He was shifting to a ball of nerves. Conscious thought was giving way. Animalistic needs were shutting down brain function. Still he held tight. 

"No," he cried. "No. I don't want help. I don't. I don't want a lie."

Ladybug wavered.

So easy. One word and she knew he'd be hers. But that wouldn't, couldn't possibly happen. She couldn't let it. It wasn't fair to him. It wouldn't be fair to lie. Not just for his sake, but for thier  _ child. _

Dropping to her knees she reached out to him. To see him like this, she was feeling his pain as if it were her own. Perhaps it was her own. It was getting difficult to tell. 

"Kitty…"

"I don't want this. I don't want a baby. I don't want this pain. I don't want a lie."

She could hardly understand him through the tears. But the pain was mounting faster. She couldn't stand seeing him like this. "I, I think a lie is all I can give you."

His trembling shoulders froze, head lifted. His eyes were bloodshot, tears still streaming thick and fast from those beautiful green eyes. In a moment of agony, he managed the words, thick through strangled sobs. "Then make it a good lie for me. _Please_?" 

He was begging, pleading with her. Chat Noir was hurting, hurting worse than she'd ever seen, than she'd ever imagined he could. And all she could offer was an empty promise. And yet... and yet it was all he asked of her. A lie.

"I'll make it the best lie," Ladybug pushed herself aside, gave in to the instinct screaming for control. Pushing herself forward she gathered the tiny figure into her arms, hugging him tight enough to crack bone. 

His sigh of relief was near as painful as the sobs. Melting against her he nuzzled underneath her chin, cheek pressed into her collarbone. 

It was everything,  _ everything _ he'd ever wanted. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this. I would love reply to any and all comments. 
> 
> And yes, this is the first in a short series. As for how many parts it has I don't know yet.


End file.
